i had a friend
his name was jeromie
he climbed a rope down from the sky
he had a strange metal object
made of fibers and string and glass inside

ooooooooh jeromie, jeromie, jeromie

he said, "the king of times"
today, we still worship him
the king of the glasses club
jere, jere, jere-o-mie is by our side

i wish...

one day ole jeromie
would bring back his friends
awe i might
i said jero-jero-gah-dam-jeromie
he said he taught me this language
and i subside

jeromie, "king of the glasses club"
a friend indeed
he is "the king"
"the king"

girlfriend is a harlot
some people might say
my god her name is charlotte
wears glasses everyday
i’ve got to love those girls (that was terrible)
no, i’ve got to have them

i know a girl named dawn
she walks just like a fawn
she wear no panties everyday
that just might be what she would say,
"i’m gay"

enough about dawn

guess we’re gonna do
this song for sims
it’s all about the time
that she became slim

back in the ice age
that's way back now
before your grandmutha
could milk that cow

so people get ready
ow we’re rockin steady
said dead fred
"give me head"

love is my language
but this is my garbage
uh.

chu-ka-chuka
whoopee, I’m free

hey, monda
i saw you in a magazine
oh it was a scream
your naked flesh i rubbed on my side
time flies when hearts collide
i love you, monda
peppermint patty

so her boyfriend comes up to my door
he say, "man, don't piss her off!"
i said, "no man, i just want to pat her patty"
i ran away
i ran back to her house
door was unlocked

mon-da, mon-da, mondanucleosis
one kiss, i’m pissed, in bed
for a weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!
beautiful
i strained, i came, i struck my vein
monda - a - a....antichrist!

hee-hee-ha
chika-chika-chika-boya-ha-ha
come on baby
bark...like a dog
come on baby
don't sit there like... a log
dancin’ is the thing you need be doin'’
come over..and beg me
my eyes...ain’t working’...too good

life is harsh (life is harsh)
livin'’ out are in the marsh (in the marsh)
big ole mosquitoes
in my tuxedo-oh it smarts (smart smart)
take my dip of copenhagen (wooh!)
chew it up in my mouth
sometimes that black spit comes out like a spout (like a spout)
what mess (what a mess) it is (it is)

terry my girlfriend
she takes the biggest dip
i said, "boy! you make those reds do a flip" (flip)
she's the hottest thing out here in kansas
because she can tackle pigs (wheeeeeeeeeee)
pigs is the biggest sport
that's of course beside the twigs

got plenty a roots out here in kansas
but son... don’t pick your nose (don’t pick your nose)
you know that (lord no) god don’t like it
because the lord likes a hose
all you people down from the sky

finger lickin'’ good
don't pick your nose, son!
my whole family moved to texas
and left me out here in kansas (all alone)
(who got the pig? who got the pig?)
lonely guy got a sty in his eye
( who got the pig? who got the pig?)

glasses (glasses) are found in kansas (glasses)
loowwwddy...my kitty cat
(who got the pig? who got the pig?)
killed my pig (meeeeeeeeeeeee)
my cat killed my pig

up here on the moon
i’m lookin'’ down on you
you don’t seem to be the jealous type
that’s why i’m goin'’ out with my big fat baboon
luvee? luvee kisses like a gofer
i don’t mind
she’s a meaty monkey

you know one day
that you and me will play
another game of (not that boring monopoly)
i’m talkin'’ bout life
oh i want a knife
to cut and kill my ole damn wife
uh! hag! never get married
i’m here to say that
up here on the moon is much better than down there
open with your en caged lives
stay away from those grubby heartachin’ wives

uh. uh!
make me sick
don't want to spit on society from
up here on the moon
up here lookin'’ high
happy as a kite
i’m lookin'’ down on you
poor little peasant
you!

one of my friends got married the other day
so what
you’ll be one day

up here on the moon
up here on the moon
up here on the soon away from his wife.

LEGAL DISCLAIMER: the glasses club does not approve of the killing or injuring of any person or animal.

ha ha ha ha ha
yeah i live in my blue jalopy
lizard on my lap and eraserhead in the passenger seat
we’re going to perimeter mall
ha ha ha ha ha
i think i’ll kill someone
oh but everybody’s a lizard
oh will i buy a piece of clothing?
food?
or will i buy a bed?
no instead instead
no instead instead
i think i’ll put a hole in the back of your head
back of your head
ho ho ho perimeter mall
i could think that everybody’s lizard’s heads are tacky
and chased by a lizard i think i will shoot
yeahhaha
(perimeter mall)

LEGAL DISCLAIMER: again the glasses club does not approve of or support the killing or injuring of any person or animal. Nor do we mean make a joke of the very serious matter regarding public shootings.

oooohhhh
oh
i was sitting out in the twilight
thinking bout my friend the snail
wondering if i’ll ever make it home tonight
if they don't take me to jail
ooooh the things you may not remember
and the things you may not forget
chinese eyes chinese eyes
don't cut my finger

you know there's one thing i forgot to say
i said when i die
don't put me up in no fuckin hay
so when i die don't give me no plastic finger
so when i die don't fry me in the stringer
give me leg oooooh
give me leg
no finger

playin around another beach song
everybody’s out running in the sand
god, i wish very day was so grand
beach ball bounces up hits my old lady in the nose
she went to the hospital she died
they never even tried
to fix that fuckin nose
she got a broken finger
she's the one with the plastic touch

she never gave me no leg
oooooohhhhh
who-wah-who-wah yeah
wah-lea-wah-la
woe dead with out a finger
he-yeah

meow meow meow
meow meow
laaaaaaaaaaa la la la
laaaa la la la la la la
meow meow meow
taylor, jake
taylor, jake

tracy,
she has two beautiful cats
and dawn,
two beautiful cats has tracy

meow la la la
meow la
laaaaaaa la la
meow
meow meow

tracy,
i don't know about dawn’s cats
they’re not too friendly
they play catch
they can fetch

meow meow
meow
meow
meow meow

tracy trains her cats
dawn debrains her cats

meow

baba-loo
ooww
maamaa

check it out here
don’t prepare yourself to steer
win or lose situation
mary jane will make it to your station
christine machine
didn’t like hair on her head

oh my god i think she needs to go with me to bed
bakin cherry pie was always quite sly for christine
you know it remains the same... sex please
so come on after you
gitcha sum now!
how?
gitcha sum now!
i think you’ve forgot how
oh anna oh anna was much better than christine
oh anna the bakin queen
oh anna better than christine

hell now, how she’d be in bed?
get it boy you know how
pow!

hooo!
huuh!
hoohohohhhhoooho
heh-ha-ha!
ha! (oooaahh)
cold!
bar-b-que!

sittin’ back in my lazy chair (sittin’ in my lazy chair)
have to take a stare
old man has no hair
one day i will have it down to my underwear
underwear! (i love hair)
bar-b-que
nothin’ better than you
ooohhh cold bar-b-que

uh-uh-ah-ah-ah-air
uh-uh-ah-ah-ah-air
bar-b-que
grand dee has no (i love you)
bar-b-que
bar-b-que’s the universal language (no hair)
everyone(no hair) must try it once (no hair)
bar-b-que, i love you
bar-b-que and hair (bar-b-que)
down to my underwear
bar-b-que and hair (bar-b-que)
sometimes in life you’ll find out that things are not fair (bar-b-que)
just look at your hair

hee-an-neee-wah-ba-neee-howah-i-nee-ho-ha-ha-yeah
do-wah
doobah-hey
trippin’ through my kitchen
goin'’ make a little sandwich
all flip flop and mayonnaise
hangin’ off my fork
it drives me... crazy
find my ham been so lazy
flippin’! itchin’ oh it’s pig
ain’t no glasses on that pig cause he can’t see...
anyway
i got to fix up someum’ to eat
oh baby what a treat!
green fungus is growin’ off my head

walkin’ down the street
hope i don’t
stub my feet
gary, better watch out
cause if i don't watch out i might have to skip back out!
you know cranberry is my favorite flavor
why? because it’s not strawberry
i have a black friend
i won’t go in to it
i have a white friend
i don’t like him
i’m just a dirt squeezin’ fool
the Best friend of an earthworm
i ain’t got no flavor like mud
wwooohhhooo!
doo-way!
nya-wah-ha!
you just better watch out when you have to clear your throat
cause i’ll catch ya
i’m the fastest shot in the west
yeah i am
want a cracker?...didn’t think so
i have a friend who’s black
i have a friend who is white
black and white
white and black
get it?... good
i have a friend who is green
you know what i mean?
i’ve got a can of liquorice
i’m going to give it to the friend who’s black
you know why?...
cause i’m not going to give it to the man in the green!
not mr. green!
pile o’ peacock
you ain’t deserving nothing from me
you see

heeee
ummmhmmmm

hey, monda
saw you in a magazine
oh it was a scream
your naked flesh i rubbed on my side
time flies when hearts collide
i love you, monda
peppermint patty

her boyfriend comes to my door
he say, "man, don't piss her off!"
i said, "no man"
" i don't piss her off!"
"i just want to pat her patty"
"pattin’ that patty"
monda
peppermint patty
huh-heyheyeah
monda monda
monda monda
boyfriend
monda
oh its a dirty sock

boyfriend
monda
i ran i ran away
door was unlocked
monda
one kiss
i’m pissed
mon-da, mon-da, mondanucleosis
in bed for a weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek yea-ee yea-ee
yeeheeheehee!
weeks and monda
oh i’m pissed
i strained, i came, my vein
da....antichrist!

wah
hee-hee-ah-
hee-hee-ah-ah-ah-h-h-h-wah
hee-hee-ah-ah-ah-ah-wooohoohoo
mmhhmmm mmhhmmm
wah-haha hahahahahahaa
(chikchikchikchikchik)
mmmmmmm
wah
hee-hee-ah
hee-hee-ah-ah-ah
mmmmmmmhmmm
mmmmmmmhmmm
wah-hee-hee-ah
chika-chika-chika-boya-ha-ha-ha-hi
come on baby
hee-hee-ha-ha-ha-ha-hooo-ah-hee hee-hee-ah-wah-wah
mmmmmmm
come on baby
bark...like a dog
come on baby
don't sit there like... a daw-hoe-hog
not like a dawawg
ain’t let no dog in here
ain’t let no dog in he-he-here
dancin’ is the thing yeah
you know dancin’ is the thing you need be doin’
come over..and beg me
my eyes...ain’t workin’...too good
ain’t workin’ too good
you got a wetnose
i got a drynose
bark like a dog
hee-hee-hee-ha
oo-oo-oo-ah-ah-ah-ah-eee-yeah
wah oh
bark like a dog
bark like a dog
you better bark
like a dog
come on baby bark
like a...like a dog
like a dog
bark like a dog
bark like a dog
eat like a hog
look like a pig
eat like a fig
i ain’t jig
wetnose drynose i don’t care who’s nose
all i know ho hooh
and no more for you

ha-moosa
hey-ah-hey-ah hey
ah heeeeey- ooo-ee
eee-uh-ee-ha-oh
uh-ee

if your lookin'’
something do insane
i said if your lookin'’ for something to do insane
don’t stick that nail in that vein
hee-uh-ee-uhee

stepped on my broken teacup hoo!
i can walk on hot coals
hey have you tried mary’s stew?
cause its right for you
ahh-hey-hey-hey-ay-ee-oh-oo

mary’s stew is made of this that and pew
oh i got to have some right now
oh it killed a friend of mine
it killed my mom and dad oh my
oh got to have some of that nooow
saw my dad oh i saw some stew oo oh

found myself lookin'’ off from my grave
oh dirt and leaves and junk and seeds, oh god, it all over me
all over me oww me
i’m a tree growin’ up above you
you bet

lookin'’ over my branches sometimes might have the fruit of apples
flowering in the springtime
little kids come by and snag my apples
awe it makes ya sick!
a tree
hit it johnny
mary’s stew is mighty fine and tasty

oh...a tree

flowers, daisies, dandelions
flowers, daisies, dandelions
flowers in her... haaaaaiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrr
snip snip slice slice
everything comes off so nice
terry cloth bottom
saw her walking down the street
oh god i had to meet her
terry cloth bottom
i can’t fit you in my brain
but i like you just the same
oh terry cloth bottom

peace, love and macrame
looooovoove
peace, love and macra......mé
peace and love will get you there

so i-i-ha-oh-ha-ha-ha-nah
promise to me my dear
body open the stars
that we will go out like cowboys and hit all the bars
i said you’re a pretty petunia
i maybe like to catch your rose
i said baby baby look at me noooww
oh we’ll hit it like a bow we suppose
catch the butterfly here
catch the butterfly here
poke it in the eye
i hate that butterfly
flys up in the sky
up there in the sky
catch the butterfly way up in the sky
in the sky

i said son, "sometimes you won’t find the right girl"
"she won’t give you that lovely pearl"
you know you know I just had to admit it
but i was standing under the stars with my old baby "cutie pie"
i said, "have you been to mars?"
she said, "oh my god, johnny. i think its in."
"i think you are in my inner thighs."
said you, "where did it all begin?"
where do i begin?
where do i begin?
hey-who-ha
catch the butterfly
catch the butterfly
just catch it
stick it in the eye-high up in the sky
comb your inner thigh
comb your inner thigh

staring at the stars again
here we are with mr. flim
he’s got a big road tractor
it gets up to 25 oh it gets high
it kills most animals that try to get by
its an armadill-killer
don’t you let him feel you
he’s gonna kill the roadkill on the side of the butterfly
oh catch the butterfly-high-high-high
catch the butterfly-high-high-high-high-yayee

aaaahhhhahhhhhh
born again ruben
cherry yum yums
spread mustard on two slices of bread
with margerine
school of medical technological students
cut pastrami and cheese into equal portions
stir mixing well
lay on one portion of pastrami
in another bowl
one ripe paw paw
whip the treat with milk
one portion of cheese hey-ay-eeese
serve with heavy whip topping
half cup of brown sugar
on one slice of bread with mustard
cool off with your rag
place half a cabbage on top of the cheese
alternate one layer of cream cheese mixture
pepper to taste
make into a pastry n’ roll it to
pepper to taste
butter with some of the pastry
top with tomatoe n’ crumbs
can be eaten
cherry yum yums
as is but is excellent
stewed paw paw and brown sugar
cherry yum yums
when place in at 350
in a large sauce pan heat olive oil
8 ounces of cream cheese
add onion
a cup of cold milk
and garlic
3 cups of gram cracker crumbs
roll lightly
3 cups of gram cracker crumbs
serve with sprinkled icing sugar
and puree paste,
either hot or cold
one fresh paw paw...
water, salt and sugar
everybody
and basil
one fresh paw paw... everybody
one fresh paw paw
one fresh paw paw
paw paw
one fresh paw paw
i got your paw paw right here, buddy
cover pan with crumbs except for half a cup
cruhum-humbs
place in the hot oven and bake for 45 minutes
sauteéd onions, browned ground beef mixed together
turn into crust and bake at 350 degrees just 65 minutes
with salt pepper and garlic powder
aaaaahhhhhh
ooooooooo
say your prayers
cream of tartar!
say your prayers
pray you’ll still be alive
night moves
after you
green tomatoe pie
survive
night moves
eating fresh paw...
night moves, night moves

fruit fly fruit fly
oh fruit fly he was just flying around in a circle
and gets in your eye and up your nose and just wants us to cry

farmin’ life’s been hard on me
fruit fly
oh my life’s a big ole bag o’ oak trees
fruit fly
mosquitoes have been making it kinda hard on me
oh fruit fly
oh sometimes i just get you and you just get it in my sleeve
wwwwhhhaaaooooooooo

fruit fly don’t bother me
fruit fly don’t bother me
fruit fly don’t bother me
ooohhh i might end up in the trees
god made me a savior
he said, "once you buy the trees...
... the fruit fly is not going to make your life much of a ease"
fruit fly don’t bother me
fruit fly don’t bother me
fruit fly don’t bother me
oh fruit fly don’t bother me yeah
fruit fly don’t bother me
fruit fly eeeey-yeeee

back again..oh... the farmin’ life
it’s so hard hard me
carton full of cat nip
oh thats the fruit fly’s total need
oh the farmer skins his dog
sells it to the cat
oh can you imagine that!
cause the fruit fly
he is the owner of the trees
oooohh he’s the wasp of the southern belt

oh fruit fly
fruit fly
he is what we need to be
oh fruit fly
la-la-la-lost ya
bake me some fresh bread
drive me to the dead

fruit fly don’t bother me
fruit fly don’t bother me
fruit fly don’t bother me
oh i’m going to climb down from that tree
swarm of flys are flying around me i just don’t know what i need
they don’t make no kind of medication
fruit fly don’t bother me
fruit fly don’t bother me
fruit fly don’t bother me
ee-ha-uh-huh-ey-yeah

picture this...
oh fruit fly
whwooaaa
fruit fly

 

huh!
wake up furry creatures all in the woods
we’re going down to nicotine stand to buy some new goods
i’ll be wearing my black slacks
ted’s got on his green
we’ll go down to the village and we’ll sell to the queen
la-la-la-la-la-la-lost ya
i la-la-la-lost ya
cobblestone crack attack
oh take four sticks and make a stack
take four of these and take a track
people of this breed will not breath
but i felt your breath!
a little of this a little of that
a little cash in just a flash
joe the crack dealer
you are my grave digger!
people might say that they’re waving the past
if you think it too much you will go too fast
don’t you know that it’s a cobblestone crack attack
i’ll be wearing my black slacks
ted’s got on his green
we’ll go on back downtown and sell somebody’s spleen
let me give you a tip
buy a bag and feel the grip
across the back of your skull
from the hand that knows no more
oh grave saved
the grave is in the paved
all your life is buried under the road
all because the guy the horny toad
he sells the crack
he will break your mama’s back
because i’m wearing the black slack
and ted’s wearing the green
to go sell...
he’s going to sell
to the queen of... crack

hello little boys and girls
today we’re going to tell a little story
it’s about a little dog
he used to walk down the street everyday
looking for something
cause everything was really boring around there
so he’s walking on the corner around this building
and something jumped out and went, "bah!"
and it really scared him
and he ran off and he never came back
from then on out
when ever he heard anything go, "bah!"
it really scared him so he became really jittery
"bah!"
"bah!"
so one day the little doggy
walking in the opposite direction of the building
that use to scarem’ and the thing came out and said "bah!"
he came upon this fire engine
it was a big red fire engine
the fireman saw the little doggy and said, "bah!"
and it really scared him
so then he walked down the street again
in the opposite direction where the guy jumped out and said, "bah!"
and he got hit by a car
and he didn’t go to heaven...he went to hell
and stuff jumped out all the time
that was going, "bah! bah! ah! bah! ah! ah! bah!"
so he was scared all the time
so the moral of the story is that
if something jumps out and went, "bah!"............